Something that never ceases to irritate and bemuse me (two states of mind which, as regular readers will know, I am particularly familiar with) is fashion. It really is an utter bunch of arse when you look at it isn’t it?

Buy these clothes and you too could look like a patchwork nipple in a hat.

Obviously, most of us follow clothing trends to some degree. I don’t go walking around in a hessian sack with a pineapple on top of my head for example. I wear clothes that are in keeping with the times and which I like for two main reasons: I think they suit me and they are reasonably comfortable.

Not because someone has decided something is must have and SO this season.

And this is where fashion gets ridiculous – you probably could very easily find some emaciated model trudging the catwalk in a hessian sack, and I’m damned sure I’ve seen fruit adorning the heads of catwalk models more than once.

What’s more, a true fashion victim would wear said hessian sacks, were a TopShop version for under 60 quid to become available.

And then every other bloody person would start wearing them. I’m not talking general trends here, like long scarves, cropped trousers or skinny jeans. I’m talking instantly recognisable items that suddenly render a sizeable portion of the population sheep-like clones. And which the cast of Hollyoaks will definitely be wearing.

Cases in point:

Faux fur coats

Ugg boots

Those woolly hats with animal ears

NO.

Last winter I must have seen these items, mainly on students and ‘young professionals’, at least five times a day, if not more.

It’s just faintly embarrassing to be seen wearing the same ‘must-have’ item as every other person in the street, surely?

I haven’t got a funny ending to this blog post.